Primal Worship

There is Eden in my heart. 
   
I am staring down the barrel of burn-out…if I’m not, in fact, in its throes already. And the only reason I’m afloat (albeit slightly) is because I have an open-door policy–so I’m not the Bible-thumping Recluse (as has been found throughout my bloodline, sigh). What I am is the quiet check-out line worshiper, thankful I can afford groceries to feed myself and family. I am the park bench praiser, amused and amazed at the little marvel that is my daughter. In the shower. In bed. At the desk. Watching TV. I have recently become fully cognizant of my contented humming every time I walk outside with my toddler resting on my hip.  No, I don’t ever find the time for tea and devotions these days, but it’s okay because it’s that time at any time and all the time. AND THAT IS WHAT’S SAVING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. 
   
So how in the heck have I found myself surrounded by a very real and no-nonsense burnout? Because of my open-door policy. Parenthood is draining. 
   
So I’m needing to mend this the only way I know how: Worship. And not my usual check-out line “Thank You, Lord” or playground “Hallelujah”….because that’s become ordinary, and ordinarily that would be just fine…but not today. 
   
I need to go to my heart’s Eden. Where You are worthy to be worshiped not because of what You have done. Not because I am needy. Not because of any ulterior “when praises go up…” gravity spiel. 
   
But because YOU ARE GOD. Because I know this to be true so far down deep in my being, that it’s primal. 
   
And oh my…honestly, if nothing mends and burnout is still waiting for its supper and the piles of clothes still need to be washed…YOU ARE GOD. 
   
And God, You are glorious.

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