November 13, 2013–
I do believe I have a greater understanding of Grace. Or…to be truly honest…a greater understanding of my need for it. Right now, there is this small but pervasive anxiety competing with the Still, Small Voice I so heavily rely on. And I don’t think I’m doing enough, saying enough, showing enough, praying enough…I don’t believe I am enough.
But that’s not to say I am not confident. I am confident in the One who is More Than Enough. And I would rather be closer to unsure of myself, in order to be closer to sure of Him.
December 13,2014–I sat on this for a year and a month. Not intentionally. I meant to go back to it, thinking it was incomplete. That there had to be more to say, to flesh it out a bit. But a year and a month and a heap of uncertainties later….the fact still remains: His gracemercywisdomlovingkindness covers my fears. His abilities trump my inadequacies.
And of this I am still confident.
I used to take pictures of you all the time. Not because you were a new and fresh, breastmilk-tinged babyface. But because I was at once enraptured and overcome by both you and the urgency to remember. Somehow, as of late, I’ve not picked up the camera. You are no less glorious today. No less new. It’s just…the camera simultaneously captures your youth and solidifies your growth. Confirms your slipping away. Maybe I am too early for these fears. But the thought traces something damp down my cheek.
A faint shadow reminds me of how I used to frequently admonish myself to slow down for you. But now…
I just want to keep pace with you.
Things To Do:
I’m making my way toward finding the well hidden entrance to the Vortex of Time. I plan to recover our Stolen Days. Or at the very least, get some answers. I have the sneaking suspicion there aren’t any–no answers nor days stolen.
So I endeavor to again pick up my camera. Because you are no less new. No less glorious than The Day We Met.
Slow down, Baby.